Calling My Deadname Home: The Trans Bear Diaries by Avi Ben-Zeev

In this extraordinarily compelling trans memoir, Avi, a bearish trans man and Psychology Professor, navigates sex and dating in a phallic-centric universe of men who love men. But something is missing. To become the man he aspires to be, he needs to reconnect with Talia, his hyper-feminine straight female past, and invite her back in.This memoir explores what it means to come home to oneself with brutal honesty, humour, and self-compassion, going well beyond gender.

From growing up in a working-class right-wing Israeli family and barely finishing high school to pro-Palestinian activism and escaping compulsory military service by faking madness, to attaining a PhD from Yale - a triumph after poor schooling. Told in three episodes, early transition, later transition and Talia's story, this memoir tackles contemporary gender and social issues. At its heart is a universal theme: to become who we already are, we must integrate the past into the present.
 
Avi Ben-Zeev is a gay trans man. As a writer, psychologist, and immigrant, he explores the challenges and freedoms of journeying toward belonging and home. Avi’s fiction won the 2024 London Independent Story Prize (LISP) and the UK’s first transgender writing competition. He was shortlisted and highly commended by the 2023 Oxford Flash Fiction Prize, and his co-edited anthology was a Lambda Literary Award Finalist.